I don't even know what to say

I find myself wanting to say so much, but not able to articulate anything. A door is closing and I've still got one foot in there trying to keep it open. I'm having a really hard time on the whole moving forward thing and am way too focused on what I should have done differently. When can you look at a relationship and see it in its entirety - the good and the bad - and know that you're in a better place because of and in spite of it?